APOLOGIES: Hall of Fame

Hail to the chief. No one knows how to blunder and BS like Slick Willie. After lying to the American people and diddling around with one particular American co-ed, President William Jefferson Clinton finally apologized...and apologized for his *cough cough* indiscretions. Don't even try, would-be scandal stars--there can only be one Bill.

After being pulled over in 2006 for a DWTFU--driving while totally f**ked up--Brave Heart delivered some brave words to his arresting officer and Jews everywhere. Gibson said Jews were responsible for "all the wars in the world" (especially this one); he then suggested some fun names for the arresting officer: "Jew," "sugar tits," "the person f**king over my life." In his apology, Gibson asked for advice from the Jewish community on how to get his life back on track. He then asked that they stop poisoning our wells.

How low can Rob go, America asked itself when Actor Rob Lowe starred in his own sex tape, co-starring two fine ladies, one of whom was just 16 years old. Lowe admitted it was a mistake and performed 20 hours of community service to avoid jail time. But even though he did call himself "The poster boy of bad decisions" Lowe never apologized...We're still waiting Rob...

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you decide to rip up a picture of the Pope on live TV while calling him "the real enemy", or at least you do if your Sinead O'Connor. After literally pissing off the entire world with her stunt on Saturday Night Live, O'Conner tried performing one last time, only to be booed off stage. It took O'Connor five years to publicly apologize for her "ridiculous act".

In the match-up of Kramer vs. Kramer, Kramer loses--hard. After having nearly forgotten Michael Richards since Seinfeld ended in 1998, America was shocked to see him racially insulting an African-American audience member at an LA stand-up show in 2006. Even though Richards apologized on the David Letterman Show the very next day, this was one crazy antic America couldn't let him get away with.

Kobe Bryant can score--but he's no stranger to offensive foul trouble. In 2003, Bryant occupied the center ring of an outrageous media circus after Katelyn Faber claimed Bryant forcibly had sex with her while staying at the hotel where she worked at the time. After Faber was caught exaggerating the truth, Bryan was able to get the charges dropped before he apologized.

There's an old joke--this guy--a neurotic Jewish filmmaker--goes to his Rabbi, and he says, "Rabbi, I married my stepdaughter," and the Rabbi looks at the man and says, "That's disgusting." Wait--that's not a joke, that's the real life story of Woody Allen and his ex-wife's adopted daughter, Soon Yi, and after ten years of marriage, Allen has still not apologized for the relationship, let alone the string of bad films he made after it. Hey Woody, you didn't have any trouble saying "I do", why not try "I'm sorry"?